Monday, July 21, 2008

Ministry of Health Appoints Former NKF CEO as Head of HOSEI

The Ministry of Health announced yesterday that former CEO of NKF, Mr Boh Liang Xim, has been appointed as the head of Human Organ Sales Ethic Investigation (HOSEI) to study the possibility of legalising trade of human organs.

"Me smart right?" mused Mr Moore Rer, Minister of Health. "At first i said i'm totally against organ trading as it is simply immoral. After a few days, i expressed that we should remain open to that possibility. In this way, i managed to secure the votes from both the moral-driven and choice-driven camps. And damn! By changing my mind so fast, i even brought myself closer to those fence-sitting voters! I expect to win my next election by 100% mann!

On why Mr Boh was handpicked for the top post, Mr Rer explained, "Just look at what are involved. Kidneys, money, ethics... Who do you think have the most experience in linking these three factors in? Mr Boh is the natural choice!"

"Hosei ah!" exclaimed Mr Boh. "Finally i'm given a new lease of life. Nobody understand the anxiety of waiting for an organ better than i do. In fact, till now i am still looking for a new heart since losing mine in 2006!"

On a separate event, Transport Minister Mr Yee Arh Pee has announced plans to regulate organ trading.

"I offer a very simple solution," beamed Mr Yee. "We will be erecting ERP gantries on all the roads leading the Transplant Centres. This way, the poor will not be exploited by organ trading. Because before they managed to sell their organs, they will already be fully exploited by the ERPs, leaving them nothing more to lose but everything to gain!"

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

CowShlt Inc & PigBrain Ltd Support Legalising of Human Organ Trade

When the nation is still heatedly debating on the subject of legalising trade of human organs, CowShlt Inc and her siser company, PigBrain Ltd have both expressed strong advocacy towards liberalising the market.

"I don't see what's the big fuss about trading organs," said a puzzled Ms Zhu Za Tang, Managing Director of PigBrain Ltd. "I mean, just make a trip to the market, and you will see so many organs of my fellow Pigs handing from the stalls. From Pig Organ Soup to Kway Chap to Bak Kut Teh, when has our organs not been traded? Some more didn't even ask for our permission before harvesting them!"

"Yes," concurred Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "The health minister rejected liberalising of human organ trade on moral reason. If he is so moral-inclined, then call those doctors who performed transplant operation to do them for free lah! Want to be moral, then everybody moral together! Why only limit moral to the donor while the doctors charge an obscene amount? Is building two casinos in Singapore very moral? Is raising the age limit to withdraw our hardearned CPF very moral? Is erecting so many ERP gantries over the entire island very moral? Talk cock one leh!"

Meanwhile, local director Mr Jack Neo has announced his plan to make the 3rd instalment of his wildly popular movie, I Not Stupid.

"The story of I No Stupid 3 sees the few youths growing to young adulthood. By being in the lower educated realm, they naturally fall into the category of what the government believes as 'Stupid Enough to be Exploited to Sell Your Organs'. This movie shows how they fight against temptation to sell their organs, since the governemnt said it was morally worng to do so. I mean, what the government said must be correct, right?. However, one of them met with an accident shortly and died. His organs were then mercilessly taken away from him because he was too lowly educated to understand that he can actually opt out from HOTA."

Punters have a lot of stakes in the outcome of this debate too.

"We had recently launched a new betting scheme since European Cup has ended and the new EPL season has not started. Punters can bet directly on whether eventually the government will legalise the trading of human organs. Presently the odds are in favour of not legalising the act. However, punters should be aware that the odds may swing overnight to other end if a minister or celebrity suddenly needs an organ transplant."