Chinese New Year 2009 is finally here amidst the world's worst economic crisis. Gone are the good old days of splurging all your bonuses, if still available this year, on new clothes and new year goodies.
However, Chinese New Year is still worth celebrating because one must always start a new year right.
CowShlt Inc gives some ideas on how we can still celebrate Chinese New Year with a smaller budget this year.....
1. Red Packets
Companies substitute stock-options as bonus during economical crisis, so can you.
"Aye... look carefully hor! Lehman Brothers told me this is worth $20000 leh....."
2. Mandarin Oranges
Just like many companies, mandarin oranges can also undergo a round of downsizing...
"Hello.... sng kum is also kum what....."
3. Pussy Willows
Catch some stray cats home, but just make sure they are females.
"Honey, i got them home! But hor.... only got pussy, no willows...."
4. New Year Decorations
You can still decorate your home with lots of red papers....
"Now where shall i paste this red SingTel bill......."
5. Reunion Dinner
Just eat something simpler loh....
"Ah kong ah ma lao peh lao bu ah hiah ah dee! Look! That pineapple tart stall got samples!!"
Wishing all Cowlings a very happy and lucky Year of Ox! Gong xi fa cai!!!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
World’s Largest Ferris Wheel Agrees to Settle Compensation Issue with Trapped Visitors off Court
The world’s largest ferris wheel, Fly Above International Landmark (FAIL), has agreed to take its settlement dispute with several visitors, who were trapped above-ground when the wheel was stuck, off the court.
FAIL has originally gone into court arbitration with several visitors regarding compensation issues arose when the ferris wheel stopped rotating on 23 Dec 2008. Visitors on-board were trapped in the cabins for more than 4 hours and were eventually evacuated by the Civil Defence using helipad.
“Standing by our motto of providing the best services to our customers,” explained Mr Ngeow Gwee, spokesperson of FAIL, “we decided to take the arbitration out of court to preserve the dignity of our customers. I mean, if FAIL wants to press on with the charges, how can we not succeed?”
It was understood that FAIL was seeking compensation from all trapped visitors as back payment.
“Eh…. Come on,” said Mr Ngeow, “instead of a normal 30 minutes ride on the ferris wheel, the riders got to enjoy it for a full 4 hours. That was 8 times of what they paid for! All we are seeking for is just that they back pay us another $250, which translates to 5 times the normal ride. Which means in reality, they got one hour of ride totally free! What else can those free-riders ask for?”
On a separate note, the Singapore Civil Defence Force is unclear whom to invoice the evacuation fees to.
“When we billed FAIL,” lamented Mr Zor Sai Kang, head of the civil defence force, “they pushed us to the trapped riders instead, claiming that they were the ones we serviced. When we try to get the money from the trapped riders, they told us to go fly kite instead. What the hack mann!! Take us as monkeys ah?? Call us to climb up and climb down, but when payment is due, we don’t even get peanuts!!”
“We should have taken FAIL two months later,” lamented Mr See Beh Suay, one of the trapped visitors. “What I heard is the FAIL will be providing free food and drink for all trapped visitors when it goes functional again. You know lah, in this bad economy times, every free meal will be very much appreciated. Let’s just hope that the next time I board FAIL again, it will fail again loh! But presently, I only hope FAIL will allow me to pay off the remaining $250 via installments”
“My cabin happens to be at the highest peak when FAIL stopped,” recalled Mr Dee Vote Ter. “It was my first encounter to be ever so close to God, and for a full 4 hours too! I am very grateful to FAIL for providing such a once-in-a-lifetime chance for me. Therefore, not only am I going to pay off my remaining $250 to FAIL, I will even pledge 10% of my monthly income as donation to FAIL!”
Meanwhile, the Police had ruled out foul play for the stoppage of FAIL.
“It is a fact that the ferris wheel stopped spinning due to human interference,” said Mr Chow Mah Ta, chief investigation officer for the case. “From CCTV footage, we realized that the CEO of CowShlt Inc actually boarded one of the cabin with his 7 personal assistants, nicknamed BCCCCR+Y. Their cabin started shaking vigorously soon after, resulting in an imbalance that eventually caused the failure of FAIL. It was definitely not foul play. It was actually foreplay.”
FAIL has originally gone into court arbitration with several visitors regarding compensation issues arose when the ferris wheel stopped rotating on 23 Dec 2008. Visitors on-board were trapped in the cabins for more than 4 hours and were eventually evacuated by the Civil Defence using helipad.
“Standing by our motto of providing the best services to our customers,” explained Mr Ngeow Gwee, spokesperson of FAIL, “we decided to take the arbitration out of court to preserve the dignity of our customers. I mean, if FAIL wants to press on with the charges, how can we not succeed?”
It was understood that FAIL was seeking compensation from all trapped visitors as back payment.
“Eh…. Come on,” said Mr Ngeow, “instead of a normal 30 minutes ride on the ferris wheel, the riders got to enjoy it for a full 4 hours. That was 8 times of what they paid for! All we are seeking for is just that they back pay us another $250, which translates to 5 times the normal ride. Which means in reality, they got one hour of ride totally free! What else can those free-riders ask for?”
On a separate note, the Singapore Civil Defence Force is unclear whom to invoice the evacuation fees to.
“When we billed FAIL,” lamented Mr Zor Sai Kang, head of the civil defence force, “they pushed us to the trapped riders instead, claiming that they were the ones we serviced. When we try to get the money from the trapped riders, they told us to go fly kite instead. What the hack mann!! Take us as monkeys ah?? Call us to climb up and climb down, but when payment is due, we don’t even get peanuts!!”
“We should have taken FAIL two months later,” lamented Mr See Beh Suay, one of the trapped visitors. “What I heard is the FAIL will be providing free food and drink for all trapped visitors when it goes functional again. You know lah, in this bad economy times, every free meal will be very much appreciated. Let’s just hope that the next time I board FAIL again, it will fail again loh! But presently, I only hope FAIL will allow me to pay off the remaining $250 via installments”
“My cabin happens to be at the highest peak when FAIL stopped,” recalled Mr Dee Vote Ter. “It was my first encounter to be ever so close to God, and for a full 4 hours too! I am very grateful to FAIL for providing such a once-in-a-lifetime chance for me. Therefore, not only am I going to pay off my remaining $250 to FAIL, I will even pledge 10% of my monthly income as donation to FAIL!”
Meanwhile, the Police had ruled out foul play for the stoppage of FAIL.
“It is a fact that the ferris wheel stopped spinning due to human interference,” said Mr Chow Mah Ta, chief investigation officer for the case. “From CCTV footage, we realized that the CEO of CowShlt Inc actually boarded one of the cabin with his 7 personal assistants, nicknamed BCCCCR+Y. Their cabin started shaking vigorously soon after, resulting in an imbalance that eventually caused the failure of FAIL. It was definitely not foul play. It was actually foreplay.”
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