2008 Year End Review

Internal Newsletter

Dear all,

Year 2008 is coming to an end with only two more weeks to go. Let’s perform a review on how the various projects we had agreed upon last December are doing.

1. To Revitalise Singapore Economy

Singapore was enjoying her best economy in 2008, until some ku-ku fengshui masters advised to reverse the direction of our money spinning Singapore Flyers.
Verdict – Money down the drain….

2. Building of NewPower Plant

SP Power increased their electrical tariff by a whooping 21%. But due to keen competition from CowShlt Inc NewPower Plant, they had quickly announced a 25% reduction from next year. Thanks to all CowShlt Inc staffs who produced so many craps in 2008, this project is an astounding success.
Verdict – Holy craps! But more shlt needed!

3. To Break into the Local Movie Industry

See what happen when an acclaimed director like Royston Tan chose to produce a lotus film instead of collaborating with CowShlt Inc to produce 1711? Flop, total flop…..
Verdict – Why not co-produce 1800-COWSHIT in 2009??

4. To Mass Market the Cure for Gay Tendency

Due to the financial crisis, most people are so well trained in covering their ass. The gays have no chance at all. Our new drug has thus no market to sell to.
Verdict – Someone’s ass need to be whipped for suggesting this project…

5. Building of Singapore Disneyland

I am sad to announce that Mickey Mouse and friends have been abducted by the Somali pirates while cruising over to Singapore. We are currently in talk with Disneyland to allow our very White Tigers to stand-in as their new mascot while negotiation with the pirates continues. We are currently in talk with Disneyland to allow our very White Tigers to stand-in as their new mascot while negotiation with the pirates continues.
Verdict – Surely those visitors can’t differentiate between 老鼠 and 老虎 right?

6. To Help Win Olympic Gold Medal in Beijing 2008

Singapore has finally ended her Olympic medal drought in Beijing 2008. To keep the tempo going, CowShlt Inc has again been tasked to help bring in more medals in London 2010. Being once a colony of England, the Olympic is seen as being help in Singapore twice consecutively.
Verdict – Gold standard

7. To Help Singapore Government Connect with the Youths

The facts speaks for itself…..
Verdict – No need to grade anymore, friend friend already lah…..

8. To Develop Singapore as the Region's Protest Hub

Singapore has setup its first Protest Corner in Hong Lim Park. However, the participants are still… should I say… way behind our Thai counterparts.
Verdict – We’ve done our part. Maybe some oversea studies in Thailand is necessary…