Monday, February 11, 2008

The Fight is Now On for the Next Singapore Zoo Icon

Since the untimely dismissal of Ah Meng on the very first day of 2008 Chinese New Year, the search for the next Singapore Zoo icon is hot on its heels.

“As the saying goes,” explains Mr Lau Gao, Public Relation Manager of Singapore Zoo, “the show must go on. We truly love Ah Meng, but the need for an icon precedes all emotions. Thus, we must elect a new icon as soon as possible to lead the Singapore Zoo towards globalization.”

It was known that the short-listed candidates have been reduced to the final 3 - Polar Bear “Inuka”, Bull Elephant "Chawang” and the unborn Orang Utan “Ah Meng Junior”.

CowShlt Inc assesses on the three animals and boldly predict the outcome of the fight to becoming the next Singapore Zoo’s icon.

Bull Elephant "Chawang”

The least likely of the three contenders. Face it, he hurt his handler before. The big yellow ribbon that he ties on his trunk had got him to where he is now – at the Singapore Night Safari as their key attraction. But that will be as far as it will be. Chawang is not breed in Singapore, and his birthplace hardly qualifies him as Foreign Talent. Despite his enormous size, he is destined to earn his livings in the construction industry.

Polar Bear “Inuka”

A hot favourite among the Singapore girls. Charming, elusive and most of all, he’s white. Born locally by his expatriate mother, Inuka has been the centre of attraction everywhere he goes. He is the exact opposite of many Singaporeans – white on the outside, yellow on the inside – which made him all the more affable to the Sarong Party Girls. While Chawang has to slog in the open air pulling logs, Inuka has the comfort of his own private air-conditioned office. Rumour has it that even the tap used for filling up his swimming pool is made of gold.

Orang Utan “Ah Meng Junior”

Clearly the winner despite the hard work of Chawang and the charisma of Inuka. Born into the family of Singapore Zoo’s first-ever icon, he is pre-destined to receive the best treatment in everything. Detractors label him as White Horse, even though he is clearly an orang utan. CowShlt Inc is aware that Ah Meng Junior is not even born. But fret not. All Singapore Zoo needs is a seat warmer until Ah Meng Junior is all ready to take over the rein of power. Best of all, you just need to feed him "peanuts".

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