Tuesday, November 25, 2008

CowShlt Inc Bans All Staffs from Practicing YOGA

Staffs from CowShlt Inc are apparently furious over a recent ban from the top management on them practicing YOGA. The reason for banning this practice was apparently that it will erode the faith of CowShlt Inc adopted belief, Crapsology.

“All staffs in CowShlt Inc must fully devote themselves to Crapsology, and Crapslogy only,” declared Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. “Crapsology is an ideology founded by the great Holy Crap. We had been practicing it ever since CowShlt Inc was formed. For that, it is reason enough to ban our staffs from coming into contact with any other beliefs”

It was understood that the belief, You’re Only Getting Advanced, or YOGA in short, was founded by an Indian guru thousands of years ago, but was getting increasingly popular especially among the young and educated. Practitioners of this ancient art make use of emerging technologies and slogans shouting to increase their self-beliefs.

“I used to think getting to work was all craps,” said Mr Seh Kor, “until I started practicing YOGA. YOGA taught me how to spread my workload using advanced technology. Now, with emails reaching me 24 hours a day, my entire life is craps. Getting to work became a much happier event!”

“I used to be a person without any passion for my job,” confessed Ms Jiak Zhua, “until YOGA pointed me to the correct direction. I start my day in the office by shouting the YOGA slogan ‘I love my job!’ multiple times. And I’m sure you had heard it before. A lie, when told multiple times, can be perceived as reality. So although I am practically still doing nothing in office now, I have embraced the idea that I actually love such a job!”

“It’s not a matter of whether the belief promotes good or bad,” explains Mr Gu Sai. “Crapsology doesn’t work this way. YOGA tries to impose logic on whatever it preaches, and logic is something Crapsology absolutely oppose to. Don’t ask me the logic behind such crap logic as it is the Crapsology logic to not have any logic!”

On a separate note, Mr Gu Sai revealed that CowShlt Inc is presently reviewing on whether to grant access to Taiwanese heartthrob Yoga Lin to perform at CowShlt Inc annual Dinner & Dance.

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