The Ministry of Health announced yesterday that former CEO of NKF, Mr Boh Liang Xim, has been appointed as the head of Human Organ Sales Ethic Investigation (HOSEI) to study the possibility of legalising trade of human organs.
"Me smart right?" mused Mr Moore Rer, Minister of Health. "At first i said i'm totally against organ trading as it is simply immoral. After a few days, i expressed that we should remain open to that possibility. In this way, i managed to secure the votes from both the moral-driven and choice-driven camps. And damn! By changing my mind so fast, i even brought myself closer to those fence-sitting voters! I expect to win my next election by 100% mann!
On why Mr Boh was handpicked for the top post, Mr Rer explained, "Just look at what are involved. Kidneys, money, ethics... Who do you think have the most experience in linking these three factors in? Mr Boh is the natural choice!"
"Hosei ah!" exclaimed Mr Boh. "Finally i'm given a new lease of life. Nobody understand the anxiety of waiting for an organ better than i do. In fact, till now i am still looking for a new heart since losing mine in 2006!"
On a separate event, Transport Minister Mr Yee Arh Pee has announced plans to regulate organ trading.
"I offer a very simple solution," beamed Mr Yee. "We will be erecting ERP gantries on all the roads leading the Transplant Centres. This way, the poor will not be exploited by organ trading. Because before they managed to sell their organs, they will already be fully exploited by the ERPs, leaving them nothing more to lose but everything to gain!"
Monday, July 21, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
CowShlt Inc & PigBrain Ltd Support Legalising of Human Organ Trade
When the nation is still heatedly debating on the subject of legalising trade of human organs, CowShlt Inc and her siser company, PigBrain Ltd have both expressed strong advocacy towards liberalising the market.
"I don't see what's the big fuss about trading organs," said a puzzled Ms Zhu Za Tang, Managing Director of PigBrain Ltd. "I mean, just make a trip to the market, and you will see so many organs of my fellow Pigs handing from the stalls. From Pig Organ Soup to Kway Chap to Bak Kut Teh, when has our organs not been traded? Some more didn't even ask for our permission before harvesting them!"
"Yes," concurred Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "The health minister rejected liberalising of human organ trade on moral reason. If he is so moral-inclined, then call those doctors who performed transplant operation to do them for free lah! Want to be moral, then everybody moral together! Why only limit moral to the donor while the doctors charge an obscene amount? Is building two casinos in Singapore very moral? Is raising the age limit to withdraw our hardearned CPF very moral? Is erecting so many ERP gantries over the entire island very moral? Talk cock one leh!"
Meanwhile, local director Mr Jack Neo has announced his plan to make the 3rd instalment of his wildly popular movie, I Not Stupid.
"The story of I No Stupid 3 sees the few youths growing to young adulthood. By being in the lower educated realm, they naturally fall into the category of what the government believes as 'Stupid Enough to be Exploited to Sell Your Organs'. This movie shows how they fight against temptation to sell their organs, since the governemnt said it was morally worng to do so. I mean, what the government said must be correct, right?. However, one of them met with an accident shortly and died. His organs were then mercilessly taken away from him because he was too lowly educated to understand that he can actually opt out from HOTA."
Punters have a lot of stakes in the outcome of this debate too.
"We had recently launched a new betting scheme since European Cup has ended and the new EPL season has not started. Punters can bet directly on whether eventually the government will legalise the trading of human organs. Presently the odds are in favour of not legalising the act. However, punters should be aware that the odds may swing overnight to other end if a minister or celebrity suddenly needs an organ transplant."
"I don't see what's the big fuss about trading organs," said a puzzled Ms Zhu Za Tang, Managing Director of PigBrain Ltd. "I mean, just make a trip to the market, and you will see so many organs of my fellow Pigs handing from the stalls. From Pig Organ Soup to Kway Chap to Bak Kut Teh, when has our organs not been traded? Some more didn't even ask for our permission before harvesting them!"
"Yes," concurred Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "The health minister rejected liberalising of human organ trade on moral reason. If he is so moral-inclined, then call those doctors who performed transplant operation to do them for free lah! Want to be moral, then everybody moral together! Why only limit moral to the donor while the doctors charge an obscene amount? Is building two casinos in Singapore very moral? Is raising the age limit to withdraw our hardearned CPF very moral? Is erecting so many ERP gantries over the entire island very moral? Talk cock one leh!"
Meanwhile, local director Mr Jack Neo has announced his plan to make the 3rd instalment of his wildly popular movie, I Not Stupid.
"The story of I No Stupid 3 sees the few youths growing to young adulthood. By being in the lower educated realm, they naturally fall into the category of what the government believes as 'Stupid Enough to be Exploited to Sell Your Organs'. This movie shows how they fight against temptation to sell their organs, since the governemnt said it was morally worng to do so. I mean, what the government said must be correct, right?. However, one of them met with an accident shortly and died. His organs were then mercilessly taken away from him because he was too lowly educated to understand that he can actually opt out from HOTA."
Punters have a lot of stakes in the outcome of this debate too.
"We had recently launched a new betting scheme since European Cup has ended and the new EPL season has not started. Punters can bet directly on whether eventually the government will legalise the trading of human organs. Presently the odds are in favour of not legalising the act. However, punters should be aware that the odds may swing overnight to other end if a minister or celebrity suddenly needs an organ transplant."
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Singapore Ready to Become Regional ERP Hub
The Singapore government recently revealed their grand vision of becoming the regional hub for Electronic Road Pricing.
"While our neighbours are busy planting flag on the Middle Rocks, we move one step ahead by planting even more ERP gantries!" mused Mr Cheng Hoo Lang, spokesperson of LTA. "In fact, we are now studying the profitability of installing an ERP gantry at Pedra Branca. Everyone in Singapore pays ERP to go work, so how can exception be made for those fellows working in Horsburg Lighthouse?"
The vision of becoming an ERP Hub has drawn flaks from a local geomacy expert.
"From the top, Singapore looks like crab," explains Mr Kwa Hong Jui. "And those ERP gantries looks like giant staplers. So, imagine planting so many staplers on a crab, how to live like that? Don't expect Singapore to rise in ranking again for the most livable cities liao lah!"
While car owners are moaning about the ever increasing cost of driving in Singapore, one company has set sights on grabbing this business opportunity.
"We are in the finalising talks with LTA now," announced Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "On my hands now is the revolutionary tie-up between Cow's Jr and LTA. From 1st August 2008, motorists will be able to log in their orders for Cow's Jr through their In-Vehicle Unit. When they pass by an ERP gantry, their orders will be picked up and payments automatically deducted from their cashcards. They can then proceed to the Cow's Jr outlet of their choice to pick up their favourite McSlug Happy Meal."
When inquired about the unlucky motorists who have no chance to pass by any ERP gantry, Mr Gu said, "The LTA feels deeply for the unlucky motorist who yet have the chance to enjoy this special privilege. That's why the government has decided to erect an ERP gantry at the exit of every carpark by 1st Jan 2010. By then, ALL motorists can enjoy their favourite McSlug Happy Meal without frills! Kudos to the Transport Ministry!"
On a separate report, LTA has announced that carpark charges at residential areas will be increased to curb congestion issue.
"We noticed that the carparks at the residential areas are unusually congested since the implementation of more ERPs," explained Mr Cheng. "As such, to counter the problem of congestion in the carparks, LTA has decided to raise parking charges across island wide. Our Tranport authority firmly believes that raising charges can solve all problems. Transport Ministry boleh!"
"While our neighbours are busy planting flag on the Middle Rocks, we move one step ahead by planting even more ERP gantries!" mused Mr Cheng Hoo Lang, spokesperson of LTA. "In fact, we are now studying the profitability of installing an ERP gantry at Pedra Branca. Everyone in Singapore pays ERP to go work, so how can exception be made for those fellows working in Horsburg Lighthouse?"
The vision of becoming an ERP Hub has drawn flaks from a local geomacy expert.
"From the top, Singapore looks like crab," explains Mr Kwa Hong Jui. "And those ERP gantries looks like giant staplers. So, imagine planting so many staplers on a crab, how to live like that? Don't expect Singapore to rise in ranking again for the most livable cities liao lah!"
While car owners are moaning about the ever increasing cost of driving in Singapore, one company has set sights on grabbing this business opportunity.
"We are in the finalising talks with LTA now," announced Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "On my hands now is the revolutionary tie-up between Cow's Jr and LTA. From 1st August 2008, motorists will be able to log in their orders for Cow's Jr through their In-Vehicle Unit. When they pass by an ERP gantry, their orders will be picked up and payments automatically deducted from their cashcards. They can then proceed to the Cow's Jr outlet of their choice to pick up their favourite McSlug Happy Meal."
When inquired about the unlucky motorists who have no chance to pass by any ERP gantry, Mr Gu said, "The LTA feels deeply for the unlucky motorist who yet have the chance to enjoy this special privilege. That's why the government has decided to erect an ERP gantry at the exit of every carpark by 1st Jan 2010. By then, ALL motorists can enjoy their favourite McSlug Happy Meal without frills! Kudos to the Transport Ministry!"
On a separate report, LTA has announced that carpark charges at residential areas will be increased to curb congestion issue.
"We noticed that the carparks at the residential areas are unusually congested since the implementation of more ERPs," explained Mr Cheng. "As such, to counter the problem of congestion in the carparks, LTA has decided to raise parking charges across island wide. Our Tranport authority firmly believes that raising charges can solve all problems. Transport Ministry boleh!"
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
CowShlt Inc All Ready to Take Over Governance of South Korea
Following the mass resignation of the cabinet, South Korea has decided to outsource their government via a closed-door tender.
"It is our utmost honour to receive the Request for Proposal from South Korea," said Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "CowShlt Inc has all along maintained a very close relationship with South Korea. Whenever our supply for CowShlt runs low, i always send my Cowlings to South Korea. And they never fail to produce loads of CowShlt after a few days of eating kimchi."
Mr Gu indicated that CowShlt Inc will go all out to win the tender.
"Realistically, CowShlt Inc has a better chance than any other competitors. The plight of the current government is caused by beef. So, who else is a better candidate to tackle this cowly issue than CowShlt Inc?"
While the company seems upbeat on the surface, it is also riled by rumours that the company's CEO is not seeing eye-to-eye with his deputy, Ms Enxiii, on where to set its headquarter in South Korea.
"While the day-to-day operations of CowShlt Inc rest solely on Mr Gu's shoulders, decision on logistic issue is made solely by me," explained Ms Enxiii. "That Mr Gu keep insisting on building our base at that beach featured in 秋天的童话, hoping to bump into 恩熙. Not a chance, OK! I have decided, we will build our base at the ski resort in 冬季恋歌 instead. Then, i can bump into 斐勇俊 and Mr Gu can bump into THIS Enxiii!"
"It is our utmost honour to receive the Request for Proposal from South Korea," said Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "CowShlt Inc has all along maintained a very close relationship with South Korea. Whenever our supply for CowShlt runs low, i always send my Cowlings to South Korea. And they never fail to produce loads of CowShlt after a few days of eating kimchi."
Mr Gu indicated that CowShlt Inc will go all out to win the tender.
"Realistically, CowShlt Inc has a better chance than any other competitors. The plight of the current government is caused by beef. So, who else is a better candidate to tackle this cowly issue than CowShlt Inc?"
While the company seems upbeat on the surface, it is also riled by rumours that the company's CEO is not seeing eye-to-eye with his deputy, Ms Enxiii, on where to set its headquarter in South Korea.
"While the day-to-day operations of CowShlt Inc rest solely on Mr Gu's shoulders, decision on logistic issue is made solely by me," explained Ms Enxiii. "That Mr Gu keep insisting on building our base at that beach featured in 秋天的童话, hoping to bump into 恩熙. Not a chance, OK! I have decided, we will build our base at the ski resort in 冬季恋歌 instead. Then, i can bump into 斐勇俊 and Mr Gu can bump into THIS Enxiii!"
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I'm Back!
Hi Cowlings, i'm back in Singapore finally. Came back in one piece, although a couple of Cow Peh's comrades were not so lucky. I heard that the injury rate for this training is a record high. Perhaps it's due to the extremely hot weather in Thailand. At once, the temperature even soared to 48.5 degrees Celcius. Enough to fry an egg on the tarmac floor.
Cow Peh is glad to be back, but also sad to leave Thailand. Glad to finally be together again with Cow Peh's family. Sad to depart from the closest that Cow Peh has ever got to be with Mother Nature. But, seems like in today's world, being alive is already a miracle. When the cyclone in Myammar has barely settled, Sichuan suffered the massive earthquake. My condolence to all people of the affected regions.
Take care, all Cowlings. Take extra care, BCCCE+Y. Somehow Bell's and Charmed's face kept flashing across my mind in a sudden throughout this training, i wonder why.
Cow Peh is glad to be back, but also sad to leave Thailand. Glad to finally be together again with Cow Peh's family. Sad to depart from the closest that Cow Peh has ever got to be with Mother Nature. But, seems like in today's world, being alive is already a miracle. When the cyclone in Myammar has barely settled, Sichuan suffered the massive earthquake. My condolence to all people of the affected regions.
Take care, all Cowlings. Take extra care, BCCCE+Y. Somehow Bell's and Charmed's face kept flashing across my mind in a sudden throughout this training, i wonder why.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
No More Updates....
... for the next 4 weeks at least.
Cow Peh is going oversea for his In Camp Training this year. Will be away for close to the entire month. Hopefully when Cow Peh returns to Singapore, the pile of work at Cow Peh's office desk has mysteriously disappeared. Otherwise... brace yourself for an even longer crapless period.
Happy May Day, cowlings!
Cow Peh is going oversea for his In Camp Training this year. Will be away for close to the entire month. Hopefully when Cow Peh returns to Singapore, the pile of work at Cow Peh's office desk has mysteriously disappeared. Otherwise... brace yourself for an even longer crapless period.
Happy May Day, cowlings!
Friday, April 25, 2008
CowShlt Inc Sent into Frenzy over Disappearance of Nasi Lemak
The entire CowShlt Inc was sent into a frenzy when its F&B Manager, Mr Nas Sigoreng, lost 20 packets of nasi lemak meant for staff consumption.
"I really don't know what happened," sighed Mr Sigoreng. "It was just a normal day which i went out to tabao nasi lemak for my staffs. While coming back, i suddenly need to use the toilet. So i left the nasi lemak alone on the table but when i return, it was all gone!"
The floor was abuzz with speculations whether it was an internal job.
"I heard from a colleague who heard from another colleague that the nasi lemak has actually all gone chao sng," said Mr Gor Seep Ping. "Mr Sigoreng actually secretly threw away all the nasi lemak and report them as missing so that he can still claim the petty cash. Otherwise, he will have to fork out all the money himself for the nasi lemak, plus the doctor fees!"
While speculations are hot and fierce among the ground staffs, the upper management is still divided on whether Mr Sigoreng should resign as an act of responsibility.
"Do you know how much rice cost nowadays?" questioned Ms Kao Mum Nee, Finance Manager of CowShlt Inc. "To lose this amount of rice is equivalent to losing your job. Though i like him very much, i still think that Nas must go!"
"We shouldn't punish Nas for one single mistake," explained Mr Hum Sup Low. "We must recognise Nas's merits in providing us with so many years of good food. Till date, his kway png is still the best! I can still remember him bringing me to Geylang in search of the freshest chick. And i must say that the China kways that he recommended are really young and tender......"
"I believe in giving Nas a second chance," proclaimed Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "Nas has contributed much towards the company and i cannot afford to lose any of my manager. At least, not until my deputy Ms Enxiii decides to come back from her long leave. And if you would excuse me, i like to go to the toilet now. Will you be kind enough to hold on to this packet of nasi lemak for me? Huh? No lah! How can history repeat itself when i had already sawn off the handle of the spoon inside?"
"I really don't know what happened," sighed Mr Sigoreng. "It was just a normal day which i went out to tabao nasi lemak for my staffs. While coming back, i suddenly need to use the toilet. So i left the nasi lemak alone on the table but when i return, it was all gone!"
The floor was abuzz with speculations whether it was an internal job.
"I heard from a colleague who heard from another colleague that the nasi lemak has actually all gone chao sng," said Mr Gor Seep Ping. "Mr Sigoreng actually secretly threw away all the nasi lemak and report them as missing so that he can still claim the petty cash. Otherwise, he will have to fork out all the money himself for the nasi lemak, plus the doctor fees!"
While speculations are hot and fierce among the ground staffs, the upper management is still divided on whether Mr Sigoreng should resign as an act of responsibility.
"Do you know how much rice cost nowadays?" questioned Ms Kao Mum Nee, Finance Manager of CowShlt Inc. "To lose this amount of rice is equivalent to losing your job. Though i like him very much, i still think that Nas must go!"
"We shouldn't punish Nas for one single mistake," explained Mr Hum Sup Low. "We must recognise Nas's merits in providing us with so many years of good food. Till date, his kway png is still the best! I can still remember him bringing me to Geylang in search of the freshest chick. And i must say that the China kways that he recommended are really young and tender......"
"I believe in giving Nas a second chance," proclaimed Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "Nas has contributed much towards the company and i cannot afford to lose any of my manager. At least, not until my deputy Ms Enxiii decides to come back from her long leave. And if you would excuse me, i like to go to the toilet now. Will you be kind enough to hold on to this packet of nasi lemak for me? Huh? No lah! How can history repeat itself when i had already sawn off the handle of the spoon inside?"
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