Hi Cowlings, i'm back in Singapore finally. Came back in one piece, although a couple of Cow Peh's comrades were not so lucky. I heard that the injury rate for this training is a record high. Perhaps it's due to the extremely hot weather in Thailand. At once, the temperature even soared to 48.5 degrees Celcius. Enough to fry an egg on the tarmac floor.
Cow Peh is glad to be back, but also sad to leave Thailand. Glad to finally be together again with Cow Peh's family. Sad to depart from the closest that Cow Peh has ever got to be with Mother Nature. But, seems like in today's world, being alive is already a miracle. When the cyclone in Myammar has barely settled, Sichuan suffered the massive earthquake. My condolence to all people of the affected regions.
Take care, all Cowlings. Take extra care, BCCCE+Y. Somehow Bell's and Charmed's face kept flashing across my mind in a sudden throughout this training, i wonder why.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
No More Updates....
... for the next 4 weeks at least.
Cow Peh is going oversea for his In Camp Training this year. Will be away for close to the entire month. Hopefully when Cow Peh returns to Singapore, the pile of work at Cow Peh's office desk has mysteriously disappeared. Otherwise... brace yourself for an even longer crapless period.
Happy May Day, cowlings!
Cow Peh is going oversea for his In Camp Training this year. Will be away for close to the entire month. Hopefully when Cow Peh returns to Singapore, the pile of work at Cow Peh's office desk has mysteriously disappeared. Otherwise... brace yourself for an even longer crapless period.
Happy May Day, cowlings!
Friday, April 25, 2008
CowShlt Inc Sent into Frenzy over Disappearance of Nasi Lemak
The entire CowShlt Inc was sent into a frenzy when its F&B Manager, Mr Nas Sigoreng, lost 20 packets of nasi lemak meant for staff consumption.
"I really don't know what happened," sighed Mr Sigoreng. "It was just a normal day which i went out to tabao nasi lemak for my staffs. While coming back, i suddenly need to use the toilet. So i left the nasi lemak alone on the table but when i return, it was all gone!"
The floor was abuzz with speculations whether it was an internal job.
"I heard from a colleague who heard from another colleague that the nasi lemak has actually all gone chao sng," said Mr Gor Seep Ping. "Mr Sigoreng actually secretly threw away all the nasi lemak and report them as missing so that he can still claim the petty cash. Otherwise, he will have to fork out all the money himself for the nasi lemak, plus the doctor fees!"
While speculations are hot and fierce among the ground staffs, the upper management is still divided on whether Mr Sigoreng should resign as an act of responsibility.
"Do you know how much rice cost nowadays?" questioned Ms Kao Mum Nee, Finance Manager of CowShlt Inc. "To lose this amount of rice is equivalent to losing your job. Though i like him very much, i still think that Nas must go!"
"We shouldn't punish Nas for one single mistake," explained Mr Hum Sup Low. "We must recognise Nas's merits in providing us with so many years of good food. Till date, his kway png is still the best! I can still remember him bringing me to Geylang in search of the freshest chick. And i must say that the China kways that he recommended are really young and tender......"
"I believe in giving Nas a second chance," proclaimed Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "Nas has contributed much towards the company and i cannot afford to lose any of my manager. At least, not until my deputy Ms Enxiii decides to come back from her long leave. And if you would excuse me, i like to go to the toilet now. Will you be kind enough to hold on to this packet of nasi lemak for me? Huh? No lah! How can history repeat itself when i had already sawn off the handle of the spoon inside?"
"I really don't know what happened," sighed Mr Sigoreng. "It was just a normal day which i went out to tabao nasi lemak for my staffs. While coming back, i suddenly need to use the toilet. So i left the nasi lemak alone on the table but when i return, it was all gone!"
The floor was abuzz with speculations whether it was an internal job.
"I heard from a colleague who heard from another colleague that the nasi lemak has actually all gone chao sng," said Mr Gor Seep Ping. "Mr Sigoreng actually secretly threw away all the nasi lemak and report them as missing so that he can still claim the petty cash. Otherwise, he will have to fork out all the money himself for the nasi lemak, plus the doctor fees!"
While speculations are hot and fierce among the ground staffs, the upper management is still divided on whether Mr Sigoreng should resign as an act of responsibility.
"Do you know how much rice cost nowadays?" questioned Ms Kao Mum Nee, Finance Manager of CowShlt Inc. "To lose this amount of rice is equivalent to losing your job. Though i like him very much, i still think that Nas must go!"
"We shouldn't punish Nas for one single mistake," explained Mr Hum Sup Low. "We must recognise Nas's merits in providing us with so many years of good food. Till date, his kway png is still the best! I can still remember him bringing me to Geylang in search of the freshest chick. And i must say that the China kways that he recommended are really young and tender......"
"I believe in giving Nas a second chance," proclaimed Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. "Nas has contributed much towards the company and i cannot afford to lose any of my manager. At least, not until my deputy Ms Enxiii decides to come back from her long leave. And if you would excuse me, i like to go to the toilet now. Will you be kind enough to hold on to this packet of nasi lemak for me? Huh? No lah! How can history repeat itself when i had already sawn off the handle of the spoon inside?"
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
CowShlt Inc Employee Sent to Hospital after Fainting in Lift
A staff of Singapore's most premire company, CowShlt Inc, was sent to hospital after fainting in the office lift. According to sources, Ms Waheen Leow has complained of breathing difficulties before she passed out. As the symptoms are largely alike, the Police Force has linked their investigation together with the unknown gas case take took place in Golden Landmark Shopping Complex.
The police has rounded up their suspects to the 4 person who were inside the lift with Ms Leow when she fainted.
"Damn suay to be considered as a suspect!" groaned Mr Mah Reh Thon, a colleague of Ms Leow. "To train myself for the upcoming Olympics, i actually ran from my home in Jurong to here in Changi. And the police still has to detain me for questioning. Look! I didn't even have the time to bathe yet!"
"Yaloh!" agreed the 2nd suspect who only identified himself with the initial L.S. "It is truly a bad day for me. The curry i took last night was already taking its toll on me. I was actually praying for the lift to quickly bring me up to my office so i can use the toilet. In fact, i was holding back myself so much just now in the lift until i let some gas out. Luckily it was the silent type which no one else notice. And if you will excuse me, i like to visit the toilet again now."
The 3rd suspect is a delivery boy from a nearby eatery. "Early in the morning have to meet with such thing..... Now that the food has turned stale, i have to exchange for a fresh one again!" When questioned on what food he was delivering at that point of time, the boy delightfully replied, "台湾臭豆腐 loh! You want some? I sell these to you cheap cheap!"
The 4th suspect, another colleague of Ms Leow, claimed total innocence. "How can the police suspect me when i was the last to enter the lift?" exclaimed Mr Kou Chou. "I had a great start for the day enjoying my all-you-can-eat buffet breakfast at the Garlic Restaurant. I tell you, their grilled garlic is so wonderful that i actually ate 20 of them in a row! In anyway, when i entered the lift, Ms Leow was already swaying back and forth. Being the concerned colleague, i simply got face-to-face with her and asked her if she is doing fine. Who will expect her to faint at that very moment?"
The police declined interview as the case is currently under investigation.
The police has rounded up their suspects to the 4 person who were inside the lift with Ms Leow when she fainted.
"Damn suay to be considered as a suspect!" groaned Mr Mah Reh Thon, a colleague of Ms Leow. "To train myself for the upcoming Olympics, i actually ran from my home in Jurong to here in Changi. And the police still has to detain me for questioning. Look! I didn't even have the time to bathe yet!"
"Yaloh!" agreed the 2nd suspect who only identified himself with the initial L.S. "It is truly a bad day for me. The curry i took last night was already taking its toll on me. I was actually praying for the lift to quickly bring me up to my office so i can use the toilet. In fact, i was holding back myself so much just now in the lift until i let some gas out. Luckily it was the silent type which no one else notice. And if you will excuse me, i like to visit the toilet again now."
The 3rd suspect is a delivery boy from a nearby eatery. "Early in the morning have to meet with such thing..... Now that the food has turned stale, i have to exchange for a fresh one again!" When questioned on what food he was delivering at that point of time, the boy delightfully replied, "台湾臭豆腐 loh! You want some? I sell these to you cheap cheap!"
The 4th suspect, another colleague of Ms Leow, claimed total innocence. "How can the police suspect me when i was the last to enter the lift?" exclaimed Mr Kou Chou. "I had a great start for the day enjoying my all-you-can-eat buffet breakfast at the Garlic Restaurant. I tell you, their grilled garlic is so wonderful that i actually ate 20 of them in a row! In anyway, when i entered the lift, Ms Leow was already swaying back and forth. Being the concerned colleague, i simply got face-to-face with her and asked her if she is doing fine. Who will expect her to faint at that very moment?"
The police declined interview as the case is currently under investigation.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
What if the Heavy Downpour Results in State-of-Emergency?
The recent downpour does not seem to be ending soon. If the heavy downpour results in a state-of-emergency and safety shelters have to be built, are Singaporeans prepared?
CowShlt Inc speculates what could be heard during the time of emergency.
1. How come the government didn’t arrange the flood to take place during off-peak hours? Now I can’t take the MRT to the safety shelter, how?
2. How come the government didn’t build a sheltered walkway from my home to the safety shelter so I won’t get wet from the horrendous downpour?
3. How come there is an ERP gantry erected at the entrance of every safety shelter?
4. How come there is an upgrade to the safety shelters only in the PAP constituencies?
5. How come only the angmohs have stewardess serving them in the safety shelters?
6. How come I still have to ballot for a place in the more popular safety shelters?
7. How come the safety shelters no aircon one?
8. How come there must be a fixed quota of place in the safety shelters based on ethnic groups?
9. How come the amount of relief I should receive depends on the size of my safety shelter?
10. How come the mee siam served in the safety shelters all got hums one?
CowShlt Inc speculates what could be heard during the time of emergency.
1. How come the government didn’t arrange the flood to take place during off-peak hours? Now I can’t take the MRT to the safety shelter, how?
2. How come the government didn’t build a sheltered walkway from my home to the safety shelter so I won’t get wet from the horrendous downpour?
3. How come there is an ERP gantry erected at the entrance of every safety shelter?
4. How come there is an upgrade to the safety shelters only in the PAP constituencies?
5. How come only the angmohs have stewardess serving them in the safety shelters?
6. How come I still have to ballot for a place in the more popular safety shelters?
7. How come the safety shelters no aircon one?
8. How come there must be a fixed quota of place in the safety shelters based on ethnic groups?
9. How come the amount of relief I should receive depends on the size of my safety shelter?
10. How come the mee siam served in the safety shelters all got hums one?
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Singapore Police Received Several Wrong Tip-off for Whereabout of Mas Selamat
After the escape of Singapore's most wanted man, the Police force has been receiving a steady stream of tip-off from the public who claimed to have spotted the sightings of Mas Selamat.
The first tip-off from Mr Sah Boh Kin led the police to SJI, or St Joseph Institute, at Whitley Road which is just a stone throw away from the ISA detention barrack. The police, acting on Mr Sah's tip-off, found the principal of SJI instead.
"I heard from the radio that the leader of a something JI escape from Whitley Road mah!" explains Mr Soh. "So i immediately thought that the principal of SJI has ran away from the school loh! Who knows that the police is actually looking for another JI leader... I tell you hor, it's all the government's fault for having so many acronyms so similar. I'm only doing my best to help!"
The second tip-off actually brought the Police force all the way to England. According to Mr Yee Pee Ell, a 'familiar face' was seen limping like how Mas Selamat does.
The police officer, while sipping English Breakfast Tea along Thames River, has confirmed that the suspect is not Mas Selamat, but Eduardo da Silva from Arsenal Football Club.
The third tip-off has the Police force searching for Mas Selamat at Changi Village, believing he is making a sea route escape after a call from Mr Chow Hee Lang. The search has proven to be futile, too.
"What? Not possible lah! How can the Police not find it?" questions Mr Chow. "You go ask anybody at Changi Village, everyone can also point you to the right direction lah, so famous there! Do i know who the Police is searching for? Of course i know lah! Huh?? Who is Mas Selamat? I never heard of him."
When questioned on why he tipped-off the Police force on the Changi Village location then, Mr Chow answered, "i heard from the radio that the police is searching for nasi lemak mah!"
The first tip-off from Mr Sah Boh Kin led the police to SJI, or St Joseph Institute, at Whitley Road which is just a stone throw away from the ISA detention barrack. The police, acting on Mr Sah's tip-off, found the principal of SJI instead.
"I heard from the radio that the leader of a something JI escape from Whitley Road mah!" explains Mr Soh. "So i immediately thought that the principal of SJI has ran away from the school loh! Who knows that the police is actually looking for another JI leader... I tell you hor, it's all the government's fault for having so many acronyms so similar. I'm only doing my best to help!"
The second tip-off actually brought the Police force all the way to England. According to Mr Yee Pee Ell, a 'familiar face' was seen limping like how Mas Selamat does.
The police officer, while sipping English Breakfast Tea along Thames River, has confirmed that the suspect is not Mas Selamat, but Eduardo da Silva from Arsenal Football Club.
The third tip-off has the Police force searching for Mas Selamat at Changi Village, believing he is making a sea route escape after a call from Mr Chow Hee Lang. The search has proven to be futile, too.
"What? Not possible lah! How can the Police not find it?" questions Mr Chow. "You go ask anybody at Changi Village, everyone can also point you to the right direction lah, so famous there! Do i know who the Police is searching for? Of course i know lah! Huh?? Who is Mas Selamat? I never heard of him."
When questioned on why he tipped-off the Police force on the Changi Village location then, Mr Chow answered, "i heard from the radio that the police is searching for nasi lemak mah!"
Monday, February 25, 2008
CowShlt Inc 1st Anniversary Loyalty Award Prize Winner
ATTN: THE SELECTED COWLING
FROM: THE CEO DESK, COWSHIT INC
COWSHIT 1ST ANNIVERSARY LOYALTY AWARD
AWARD NOTIFICATION: FINAL NOTICE
Lucky Cowling,
If you can read this post, it means you are the selected winner of the grand prize of CowShlt Inc. 1st Anniversary Loyalty Award! Winner of this award is selected randomly via your IP addresses. Every time you visit CowShlt Inc. website, your IP address is logged and added to the pool of lucky draw participants. YOUR IP address has been selected by our database on 1 Feb 2008 as the grand prize winner. Congratulations but please do not share this news with other Cowlings as this post will only appear on YOUR computer with the same IP address.
You are hereby approved a prize money of Eighty Eight Thousand, Eight Hundred Singapore (SGD88,800) in vouchers for the 2008 range of top products. This promotion is jointly organized by Goggle Awards & Windows Live. Apart from CowShlt Inc., several other participants were selected through Java-based software balloting system drawn from one hundred thousand visitors to blogs and websites from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle East and Africa as part of our international promotions program which is conducted towards the 4th quarter of last year.
This lottery is co-sponsored by the MygoSoft Company as their social welfare to the individuals in areas where they have operational base, who are active on internet. Furthermore, your detail (IP address) falls within our Asian representative office in Shenton Way, Singapore. As indicated in your play coupon, your prize of (SGD88,800)will be released to you from our CowShlt Inc. headquarter Office here in Singapore.
HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE: Simply contact our Financial Department Manager, Dr Soh Nai Eve (cowshlt@gmail.com) with your IP address. Remember, your prize must be claimed not later than 20 days from today, as your visit to CowShlt Inc. has already been captured with your IP address.
Congratulations once again on your winning!
Also ensure you include the following information in your email to ensure a safe and quick delivery. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of winners will result in a forfeiture of the prize.
1. Full Name
2. Present Address
3. Date Of Birth
4. Telephone Number
5. Marital Status
6. IP Address
7. A most recent taken full body photograph of yourself
I await sincerely for your response.
Best wishes,
Gu Sai,
CEO, CowShlt Inc
FROM: THE CEO DESK, COWSHIT INC
COWSHIT 1ST ANNIVERSARY LOYALTY AWARD
AWARD NOTIFICATION: FINAL NOTICE
Lucky Cowling,
If you can read this post, it means you are the selected winner of the grand prize of CowShlt Inc. 1st Anniversary Loyalty Award! Winner of this award is selected randomly via your IP addresses. Every time you visit CowShlt Inc. website, your IP address is logged and added to the pool of lucky draw participants. YOUR IP address has been selected by our database on 1 Feb 2008 as the grand prize winner. Congratulations but please do not share this news with other Cowlings as this post will only appear on YOUR computer with the same IP address.
You are hereby approved a prize money of Eighty Eight Thousand, Eight Hundred Singapore (SGD88,800) in vouchers for the 2008 range of top products. This promotion is jointly organized by Goggle Awards & Windows Live. Apart from CowShlt Inc., several other participants were selected through Java-based software balloting system drawn from one hundred thousand visitors to blogs and websites from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle East and Africa as part of our international promotions program which is conducted towards the 4th quarter of last year.
This lottery is co-sponsored by the MygoSoft Company as their social welfare to the individuals in areas where they have operational base, who are active on internet. Furthermore, your detail (IP address) falls within our Asian representative office in Shenton Way, Singapore. As indicated in your play coupon, your prize of (SGD88,800)will be released to you from our CowShlt Inc. headquarter Office here in Singapore.
HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE: Simply contact our Financial Department Manager, Dr Soh Nai Eve (cowshlt@gmail.com) with your IP address. Remember, your prize must be claimed not later than 20 days from today, as your visit to CowShlt Inc. has already been captured with your IP address.
Congratulations once again on your winning!
Also ensure you include the following information in your email to ensure a safe and quick delivery. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of winners will result in a forfeiture of the prize.
1. Full Name
2. Present Address
3. Date Of Birth
4. Telephone Number
5. Marital Status
6. IP Address
7. A most recent taken full body photograph of yourself
I await sincerely for your response.
Best wishes,
Gu Sai,
CEO, CowShlt Inc
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
