With its competitor launching their Stress Release Milk, CowShlt Inc has taken swift action in launching its very own brand of stress relieving drink – CowsBerg beer!
With the tension in modern society mounting to a new high, city dwellers are constantly in the look for better, more efficient stress busters. One dairy company in Japan has already launched its “super-premium milk for stressed-out adults” at the price of about ¥5000 for a bottle of 900mm.
“We understand that our fellow competitor has already launched their premium milk to relief stress,” said Mr Gu Sai, CEO of CowShlt Inc. “However, it is a deliberate move to launch CowsBerg beer only after the launch of the premium milk. Our purpose is to have our customers to spend ¥5000 for a bottle of milk, only to find themselves having no more money for any other else and thus inducing even more stress. I am very sure the launch of CowsBerg beer now is a heaven-sent to them!”
Animal rights activists lauded CowShlt Inc attempt in liberating the Cows. The spokesman from the Movement of Ethical Animal Liberation (M.E.A.L) said, “We at M.E.A.L applaud CowShlt Inc for respecting the working conditions of its Cow. Manufacturer of the stress relieving milk actually milk their Cows once a week at the break of dawn. Imagine of the stress of the Cows to wake up 7-early 8-early just to have their tits squeezed! On the other hand, we observed that CowShlt Inc simply provides a bottle each to every Cows and feed them lots of water, which is really healthy. Somehow, the Cows will make their move behind a wall and when they reappeared, their empty bottles are all filled with CowsBerg beer! We can even hear them heaving, ‘Shiok ah! Shee-fok sai…..’ Imagine their job satisfaction at CowShlt Inc!”
In another related news, it was reported that Singapore’s largest parenting portal, IdoBaby, observed a sudden surge of posting in their Boilers Room. The site owner, Mr You Jinx, has this comment. “I suppose with the large consumption of CowsBerg beer, more people are now peeing on their bedsheet. Our Boilers Room provide the best place in Singapore , JB and even Batam for those consumers to hang their dirty laundry. I foresee a new collaboration with CowShlt Inc.”