Saturday, October 27, 2007

Woman Sues Church of the Holy Cow for Trauma from Exorcism

A woman officially filed a lawsuit against the Church of the Holy Cow for post-effect trauma she is sufferring from as a result of an "unlicenced" exorcism.

The entire saga started on 29 Feb 2007 at the Church of the Holy Cow. Madam Con Mun Nee, 56, together with her son Mr Jiang Huang Hua and her daughter Ms Jiang Pian Hua, were at the church for a normal prayer.

"It was a Thursday that day," recalls Mdm Con, "and the Toto Group 1 prize money had snowballed passed $2 million. So there i was, at the Church of the Holy Cow, hoping to draw out 6 numbers. I was shaking myself vigorously because the last number simply refused to jump out from the cup. Then suddenly, 2 cows came over, grabbed my hands and pulled me into an exorcism room, claiming i was showing signs of being possessed!"

"My mother was held down by several cows," added Mr Jiang. "We Cantonese like to say you cannot force a cow's head down if it refuse to drink, but this is the first time i ever saw my mother's cow head being pinned to the ground!"

It was known that Mdm Con is seeking $3 million in compensation for the trauma she experienced. "$1 million is for the damage done. The other $2 million is for the loss of chance of winning 29 Feb's Toto!" explained Mdm Con.

Channel News CowShlt managed to get into contact with Father Poke Gai Liao, alleged priest who performed the exorcism.

"We have credible sources that support our claim that Mdm Con was indeed possessed. Our agent has reported seeing her mixing around some ghosts, which our agent claimed as 赌鬼."

When questioned on who is the agent, Father Poke showed us the agent portfolio.

The case will be heard in the District Court tomorrow afternoon. Mr Gu Sai, CEO of Channel News CowShlt, has specially assigned his beloved concubine, Ms Casper, to cover this ghostly event. Stay tuned.

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