Saturday, October 13, 2007

Gu Sai's Apparent Disappearance - Mystery Solved

Breaking News

Supporters of CowShlt Inc have been wondering high and low on the apparent disappearance of their widely supported CEO, Mr Gu Sai.

"It has been 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours 27 minutes and 48 seconds since i last saw him," commented Milky Cow. "I had been waiting for him for so long until all my milk has run dry!"

"Yah..." lamented Creative Cow. "The Creative Department has been very uncreative lately. I think my brain has already grown moss while waiting for the return of our CEO!"

"And you know what?" chirped in Longkang Cow. "Everyday when i report at CowShlt Inc just to find out that our CEO is not around, my chest falls! Now my monsoon drain has greatly reduced itself to a tiny groove!"

The secret agents from Channel News CowShlt has brought back reports of sightings of Mr Gu Sai from three different instances.

The Bull Run® 2007, Singapore

Mr Gu Sai has been spotted donning his leather suit running around Shenton Way on 12 Oct 2007. It was understood that he was running after a carrot hanging from a stick. He was last seen grazing grass with his fellow cows in the Padang.

The 2007 Ig® Nobel Prize Ceremony, Massachusetts

Mr Gu Sai was publicly seen on stage with Ms Mayu Yamamoto on 4 Oct 2007 to receive the Ig Noble Prize for developing a way to extract vanillin from cow dung. It was reported that Mr Gu Sai actually went on a 48 days vanilla detox diet specially before producing the cow dung for Ms Mayu Yamamoto. Mr Gu Sai was observed to be munching loads of chocolate, presumably for Ms Mayu Yamamoto's next project of extracting choco from cow dung.

Toilet-Shaped Home, Seoul

It was understood that Mr Gu Sai was specially invited by Mr Sim Jae Duck who holds the nickname of 'Mayor Toilet', to officiate the grand opening of his toilet-shaped home. Mr Gu Sai has been Mr Sim's adviser throughout the development of this project. Mr Gu Sai has provided many precious specimens to Mr Sim to ensure that his toilet-shape house is capable of flushing the biggest shlt. However, unconfirmed news also reported of tragedy striking during the final test phase of the project.

"There were quite a few of my co-workers doing the final touch-up of the house interior on that fateful day," recalled Mr Phua Chu Kang, the best contractor in Singapore, JB and now even Korea. "When they were at work, a sudden pile manure just rained down on them. My co-workers have no place to run. Alas, they all lost their lives when they found themselves to be in really deep shit...."

Mr Gu Sai has promised to return to CowShlt Inc as early as possible. But in the meantime, he still have to fly over to Cambodia to bail out his fellow cow which is in police custody for killing motorists.

Channel News CowShlt will bring you the latest news whenever available.

1 comment:

cHaRmaiNe said...

Did your cowlings leave those comments?

Maybe we PMed the CEO and we din remember.