CowShlt Inc sets up new financial arm, launches new investment line for the financial savvy.
Riding on the hot trend in the investment market, CowShlt Inc jumped into the bandwagon and sets up its exclusive financial arm - CashCow Empire, and launches its very own investment line.
"Today marks the official launch of our highly lucrative investment line - Special Consumer Advanced Money (S.C.A.M)," declares Mr Boh Lui Liao, general manager of CashCow Empire. "S.C.A.M gives you the opportunity to increase your profit without ends!"
"S.C.A.M is a top-of-the-range, state-of-the-art line of investment scheme," explains Ms Tek Ann Run, a pioneer trader of S.C.A.M appointed by CowShlt Inc. "All you need to do is use $12000 to purchase a distributor rights from CashCow Empire. With the rights, you are able to sell our exclusive range of CashCow products over your virtual shop."
When questioned on the products being sold, Ms Tek replied, "It's a very exclusive range of fabric. The quality is so good that they are only used to manufacture the Emperor's New Clothes."
The CEO of CowShlt Inc, Mr Gu Sai, likens himself to Mr Warren Buffet, 2nd richest man in the world.
"My investors all call me Singapore's Warren Buffet," said Mr Gu. "I am, in fact, better than Mr Buffet. I mean, who in this world still needs a warrant to eat buffet? Just look at me. Look at the queue outside. I have plenty of people serving themselves to me on a platter!"
Although S.C.A.M is making the talk of the town, not all investors are convinced. Singapore's top-selling insurance agent, Mr Wu Ngya Bor, made this comment on the condition of not staying in anonymity.
"I believe S.C.A.M is nothing but just an empty shell. The purpose is just to get as many people to invest as possible. When a person invests, he will have to recruit new sub-investors in order to earn any profit. And in turn, the sub-investors will have to recruit more sub-sub-investors in order to distribute the deposit as profit to a bigger pie now. The show will end when the sub-sub-sub-investors have finally run out of people to recruit as sub-sub-sub-sub-investors."
The financial consumer watchdog, Global Resistance to Extraordinary Enrichment Delusion (G.R.E.E.D), is also monitoring CashCow Empire.
"CashCow Empire claims that S.C.A.M makes money fall from the sky, that it is an idiot-proof financial line whereby everybody earns," G.R.E.E.D spokeperson proclaims. "However, i think it is obvious what CashCow Empire really meant is S.C.A.M is a real proof that those investors are indeed idiots!"