Monday, November 5, 2007

Thousands of Devotees Streaming to Offer Prayers to Cow God Tree

News Flash!

A recent accident along Jalan Gu-yu has left a tree trunk partially chipped off. Residents at this area were surprised to see fresh bark taking the form of a Cow. And after a devotee finally got pregnant after some prayers, thousands childless couple from all over Singapore started flocking to this once sleepy town, offer prayers to this mystical Cow God Tree.

“It was a clear night,” recalls Mr Kan Da Shu, volunteer-caretaker of Cow God Tree, “when I saw a young cow pacing around this tree looking for his Cow Peh and Cow Bu. But with a gush of wind and smoke, the Cow Kia suddenly vanished! The very next day, this holy image appears.”

“We had tried countless times working for a baby,” said Ms Milk (not her real name). “Never did we ever succeed. It was as if that my husband was only capable of planting a seed, but having no fertilizer in my womb for the seed to grow. Mr Kan offered me some black sticky substance after my prayers and instructed me to apply on my tummy. Truth to be told, I was found pregnant 2 weeks later!”

Residents from Jurong West, home to the Monkey God Tree, are naturally furious.
“Why the Jalan Gu-yu people everything also want to copy us one?” questioned Mr Lao Gao, volunteer-caretaker of Monkey God Tree. “We are blessed with the arrival of 孙悟空 and now they also claim to host 牛魔王! What’s next? Some cock neighbourhood declaring the appearance of some 鸡精?!”

The police is presently working with the Resident Committee of Jalan Gu-yu to resolve the heavy traffic congestion.

“My husband used to be backed before sunset,” laments a resident. “Nowadays, waiting for my husband is really like waiting for the Cow to come home leh!”

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