Thursday, September 13, 2007
CowShlt Inc Signs New Deal with Health Promotion Board
CowShit Inc, the top crap provider in Singapore, penned down a new deal with Health Promotion Board (HPB) for this year National Healthy Lifestyle Campaign, tagged "Healthy Mind, Happy Life". The campaign this year aims to "encourage Singaporeans to nurture and look after their mental health".
It was understood that CowShlt Inc emerged victorious among thousands of other service providers. The winning margin was not released, but insider source revealed it was a close fight between CowShlt Inc and Gu-Chi Pte Ltd.
The person behind this service tender, Ms Xun Kai Xin from HPB, spoke to this reporter after being stalked for 3 days 3 nights.
"It was indeed a close fight between CowShlt Inc and Gu-Chi Pte Ltd. Gu-Chi Pte Ltd did a fairly good job during the preliminary assessment, tickling my Global Sourcer funnybone. However, when they tried to finger me, my G Spot was not aroused at all! Huh? What is G Spot?? My Gu-Chi Spot lah!"
The CEO of CowShlt Inc, Mr Gu Sai, revealed to this reporter his winning formula. "I actually have no idea what happened. During the meetup, my laser pointer dropped. All i did was went under the table. Just that at that point of time, i saw some grass like structure between Ms Xun's legs. And being a true blue Cow, i simply crawled over savour the delicacy. When i emerged, Ms Xun was already in cloud nine estacy. I guess making her happy was what this tender was all about."
CowShlt Inc has lined up a series of fun-filled activities during this campaign. Among these activities are short courses and games aimed at teaching people how to be happy. A brief description of the events is provided below.
1. Learn Foreplay in 10 Minutes. Learn how to arouse your interest in your course of work. Rejuvenate yourself back to your optimal performance. Participants with strong fingers or tongue muscles preferred.
2. Difference Between Kong-Cuss, Kong-Cum and Kon-Kar-Kiao. Learn the differences between each level of happiness so you can plan, execute and manage your happiness effectively. The course book, "21 Ways of Saying I'm Happy", will be provided free.
3. The Laughter Workshop. Learn how to laugh at the correct situation. You will be equipped with the ability to differentiate what is "Hor Chio", "Zin Hor Chio" and "Sibei Hor Chio". Master the correct laughing technique and impress all around you!
1. Throw Shlt at Your Boss. You will finally have a chance to throw our patented CowShlt back to your boss. Have no fear! Our patented CowShlt are all teflon coated, making it non-stick to your hands.
2. Match the Laughter Contest. Match the laughter to the correct animal and walk away with attractive prizes!
3. Laughing Marathon. Laugh for 21 days without food, drinks or sleep. Eventual winner gets a 4 days 3 nights all expenses paid trip to the ultra exclusive CowShlt Country Club.
CowShlt Inc and Health Promotion Board will conduct a joint press release once the details are finalized.